Men And Their EgosAugust 23rd, 2009 by admin | This article was viewed 11,924 times.
Surf the net or visit your nearest bookstores, I’m very certain there are mountains of articles debating this issue, all to no avail. Anyways, I am not here to put an end to that discussion either. These are merely my thoughts in reply to Men’s Gossips Concerning Women’s Makeup.
Men and Their Egos
I’m quite sure upon reading the first sentence, the womenfolks reading it must have at least smirked or giggled a little. After all, is there any other element that can be so closely associated with the male species? Since cavemen times, men have always been competing, from the biggest hunt to biggest houses to prettiest wives. They protect and defend so much so that more than few thousand years later, the characteristics have yet to be selected out.
Definition of “ego”:
- A person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.
- Psychoanalysis the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity.
- An overly high opinion of oneself: some major players with really big egos.
That would be the long winded definition of ego by the Oxford Pocket Dictionary. But I much prefer the one by Urban Dictionary;
That thing inside my head. You know, the thing that makes me cooler than all of you.
Many times I think cases of chauvinism stems from uncontrolled male ego. Men think that because they are men that they should be out working in the world, making money, and providing the bread and butter of the house. Women, on the other hand, should just stay at home because that’s all they’re good for; food, children and the likes. Their ego dictates that just because their great-grandfathers, grandfathers and fathers have been practicing autonomy, so should they. I only speak for myself when I say that I do not mind men wielding their hard-earned egos. After all, who wouldn’t like it if someone else shoulders all the burdens and cares of the house?
Yet, this is if and only if they are able to live up to the expectations. Unfortunately, this is where the bane of ego comes into the equation. So he insists that I stay at home to take care of the kids? I would not mind, if he would stop complaining how the monthly expenditure is bursting at its seams. So he insists that I should prep myself up and stay as pretty as how I looked when he married me? I would, once he stops blocking the mirror with his potbelly.
Before I go on a tangent about double standards or compromising, let me just state my opinion that I think ego is what make up is to women. Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t they use it to enhance what is already there and to cover up whatever that may be lacking? However unlike make up, ego affects other people as well. In an unlikely event where a certain female hurts another female to attain a certain blusher or something from the same rack, make up does not hurt anyone else. Ego, on the other hand, could involve people other than the perpetrator.
Imagine a husband who insists that he is right and refuses to listen to the pleas of a wife to send their child to the hospital; or a boss who stresses that the company sticks to an investment because he cannot admit that he made a wrong choice in picking which stock to purchase, or even a group leader who cannot acknowledge his mistakes, refusing to relinquish or delegate authority to his group mates… all because ego said so. Maybe the child would have survived, maybe the company would not have gone bankrupt and maybe the group would have achieved better results in their group assessment. Is it not like blind mice telling his comrades “Come, follow me!”?
Unlike in previous post where James gives suggestions on how girls could use make up to their advantage, I sincerely doubt I should go down the route of advising men to use their egos for the greater good.
The question here is,
Is Ego by Itself Is Justified?
To be honest, I don’t know.
Nevertheless, what I do know is that there is an enormous difference between what one calls confidence and ego, but unfortunately the line that separates the two is but a thread. The gray areas are so insignificant that it is no wonder how some men end up threading over into the dark side unconsciously. Women are attracted to confidence, not to ego. Men, look out for telltale signs such as when she starts avoiding you rather than draw closer even if you may be climbing higher up in the social hierarchy. Notice when she excuses herself or you run out of topics to talk about after only a short while of conversing? Rewind and see if the topic of conversation had been about your opinions, your achievements, your plans, your great plans for world peace. Common denominator – you.
It is difficult for one to want to cure ego because it is not like a fever that dissipates as soon as you pop a pill. Like everything else in life, ego involves work. You built it up, so you have to break it down too. Realize that the world does not revolve around you and stop dragging people into what you think is right, or what you think is for everyone’s sake. Involve others and try to place yourself in someone else’s shoes for once.
We no longer live in caves where merely starting a fire takes up about half the day and twice the frustration. Today the term, equality carries more weight than it ever did. To be fair, I have to admit that ego is not something generalized only to men. It would be stupid to say that only men have ego. Women have them too, especially in the corporate rat races at present. Still, for unknown reasons, a man’s ego always seems to be superior when compared to women relatively. Thus they get picked on quite often when it comes to men-women quid pro quos. Maybe we should look back at Mr. Caveman for some hard sought answers.
Thankfully, just as how women have evolved over the years, so have men. Most of them who face women bosses or those of their equal statuses are now able to swallow their pumped up pride and tolerate each other healthily. Of course, occasionally we still get the normal Chauvinist Pigs and their botox-ed self esteem, but you can’t have everything now, can you?
Ego, do not serve well in relationships. I cannot fathom why some men would use their ego as a springboard to attract girls or merely to boost their statuses. Don’t they realize that they would soon run out of air and like a hot air balloon, fall to the ground both shamefully and painfully?
Like James said, it is your personality that plays a bigger role after the first impression. If you were too full of yourself, there would not be any more space left for others and how would you be able to let her in then?
Any articles categorized in “Indifferent Thoughts” are the author’s perspective on the world. Statements are neither wrong nor right. It is up to us individuals to decide whether to believe or to turn a blind eye on the matter. Nevertheless, discussions are always welcomed.
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